Our picture of what a healthy work-life balance looks like needs to be redefined. The “ideal” is not that of a balance scale, where both sides, equal in weight, create a perfectly balanced beam. It really shouldn’t even be defined as WORK and LIFE. Is work not part of our life and should we not define it as so? Not to mention, we are less and less adapting to the traditional structure of working and living – where one is for the weekday, and the other is for the evenings and weekends. Work is and will only become more fluid, flexible, ENJOYABLE, and just as much a part of our amazing lives as anything else.
So, first things first, let’s create a new term for it: Introducing “SELF-BALANCE”
Life is made up of buckets. Generally speaking, we have a work bucket, a friend bucket, a “me” bucket, a family bucket, a second job bucket, a volunteer bucket, a home bucket…. you get the idea.
At the core of all of those commitments is YOU. So, the balance isn’t in maintaining equity in all of them, because that can result in you feeling like you’re being pulled in a million directions – stretched too thin. It’s about tending to your needs first and foremost, because not all of these areas will require your attention at the same time in the same capacity, despite what some might say or expect of you (cue: boundaries).
For example, some people love to hustle for long stretches, working 12-hour days for weeks on end – tending to familial or friend commitments on a less than consistent basis. But when it comes time to take off work for a few weeks, it’s all family and friends 24/7.
Others prefer to keep things more consistent, or as much the opposite as possible. And there’s nothing wrong with any of it! What we can’t be doing is judging others for how they find their fulfillment based on the balance they’ve struck. It’s unfair to put our expectations on others to fill that space and it’s not up to us to determine what someone else’s self-balance should look like (keyword being ‘self’). The responsibility is on us to work through that, so remember to go easy on others. They, like you, are trying to have it all and do so happily – striking a good balance takes some trial and error.
At the end of the day, it’s not a 50/50 work/life split, nor is it 10/10/10…, 10/20/5…, etc. and trying to achieve that equal split “sweet spot” can lead to more frustration if you (or others) put those expectations on yourself. It is ever-changing and not one-size-fits-all (nothing really is), so do what it is that makes YOU feel at peace, fulfilled, and balanced – because true balance needs to be achieved internally, not externally.
What does your balance look like?
